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| How to Stay Alive Trash your cigarettes. Shun restaurants and bars that traffic in second-hand smoke. Eat organic and low on the food chain. Steam vegetables; don't grill meat. Just say "no" to marijuana, Jack Daniels, and cocaine. Stay home: do not rent cars at Miami's airport, or ride the New York subways, or dig potshards in the Negev after massacres in Hebron. Don't drive vans older than you are to places you've never been. Always buckle your seat belt. Have someone else strip the asbestos from your furnace and heating pipes. Test for radon in the basement, lead in the drinking water, cracks in the microwave shield. Avoid electric blankets. Use condoms, or don't have sex. Walk to work. Remember your sunblock. Don't go jogging after dark. Keep off the neighbors' grass after they've sprayed the yard. Wear a helmet when you bike. Take a buddy to the lake. Don't lie about your weight to the man who adjusts your skis. Lower stress with yoga; divorce your husband if you must. Cross your fingers, say "Star Bright" to Venus, avoid black cats, spit three times over your shoulder on your thirteenth annual visit to the oncologist. Originally published in Prairie Schooner, Winter 1995 Biographical InformationBiographical NoteAwards & Residencies Publications List |